ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE!

[Sirius James Elvendork Novus]

[]

Lately, things had been pretty slow around Hogwarts.

Classes had come to a halt. Students decided to stay inside of their dormitories or at their own homes, having next to no desire to return to the legendary school. Even the Gryffindors were pretty scarce... Maybe one or two here or there, hiding underneath a table, begging for some sort of scrape of food, uttering, "GOLLUM... GOLLUM..."

Sirius stayed away from those creeps. Besides, he was plenty fed, thank you very much! Seeing as he lived approximately 2.73 seconds away from Hogwarts, he stopped by whenever he got bored, or when Mark squawked that he wanted to fly around the halls, or Old Yeller hissed in his ears to kill the students of Hogwarts and drag them down into the Chamber of Secrets so that he could swallow their bodies whole...

So that's what Sirius was doing today. He had taken some red paint and was going to write on the walls some dire warnings about the chamber being open, yadda yadda, something like that. Maybe Soapie or some nasty Ravenclaws would fall for his trick! Then, you know what would happen? Instead of being consumed by Old Yeller (because he was too small to actually consume human beings, let alone fatties like Soapie), they would enter the WRONG BATHROOMS!!! Sirius had previously done a rather magnificent job of painting over the gender signs on the bathrooms and replacing them with the opposite. SOOOOO BOYS WOULD GO INTO THE GIRLS BATHROOMS AND GIRLS WOULD GO INTO THE BOY BATHROOMS MUAHAHAHAHA!!

It would be disgusting, yes, because cooties would spread rapidly... but Sirius was ready for this. He had a surgical mask that he had found in a draw in his mommy and daddy's room labeled, "KINKY TOYS." The Hufflepuff didn't know what kinky meant, but it was pink and fuzzy and even though he was a manly little boy, he liked pink and fuzzy things. But don't tell anyone.

As he took his paint brush across the stone walls, his little body jumped up and down from excitement. Maybe everyone would come back if he threatend their lives! YEAH!!!!

Now if only he knew how to spell "secrets"...

[Lydia Evelyn Honeywell]

[]

Lydia was bored. So she decided to go walking around Hogwarts, one floor at a time. Starting at the Ground Floor. So she walked and she walked and she walked and she STOPPED! In the Entrance Hall. Because there was someone there. A firstie. With a paintbrush. And red paint. Lydia was both confused and horrified; she didn't know exactly what the 11 year old was writing, but that didn't matter...how could anyone *deform* Hogwarts!? So she stepped in.

"Hey! You! What the hell do you think you're doing? You aren't allowed to do that!" She paused, "And why were you bouncing up and down?"

She tapped her foot and raised her eyebrow expectantly. It was times like this she loved being a second-year. She had authority...at least, over the firsties and some of the second-years.

(Oh, BTW, it's actually 'mummy' in the UK ((which is where Hogwarts is), not 'mommy'.)

[Abba Bjorn Faltskog Jr.]

With his dad up in his office still contemplating his ""Meaning of Life"" post, Abba Jr. decided to get out and see the sights again. So with Abba starting to be more active around the school once more, why not come out of hiding also. The school still had no classes or real structure at this point so why not cut loose and have a little fun. The weather was still to cold for skinny dipping so Abba Jr. decided on the other Faltskog tradition.... STREAKING! ! !

Butt naked from his head to his feet he made the first lap around the school unnoticed, not spotting a single person anywhere. On his second lap was when he spotted Sirius, his housemate, waving and yelling hello. His pace slowed once he caught sight of some girl he didn't know, slowing just enough to strike a pose for her and grin. Not yet out of breath he decided to make a few more laps before stopping and chatting with the other two students. "See you guys in a few" Abba Jr. called back and headed away to start his third lap around the school.

[Lydia Evelyn Honeywell]

Lydia was waiting for the horrendous little boy to reply when she saw something.

Something even more horrifying than graffiti.

STREAKING! There was a...a...a...FIFTEEN year old, streaking!!!

Oh, and Lydia knew this boy. He was famous (or infamous, depending on how you looked at it). Abba's boy. Terrifying, intimidating, Abba. The leader of the school. The one who recently had hidden in some shrubbery drinking excessive amounts of alc.ohol. This was his child?!

Well, "child", more like "specimen".

Lydia stood there, gob-smacked, before turning back to the graffiti-er.

"What the HELL is going on with this place!? What happened to CIVILITY!?"

[Abba Bjorn Faltskog Jr.]

His next lap was slightly slower as Abba Jr. began to tire out. But as promised he jogged back around to the entrance hall still naked as the day he was born. During the previous lap he finally remembered the Ravenclaw girls name..... Lydia. This time around with his pace being slower Abba Jr. noticed that Lydia was staring straight at him, not blinking once during his entire approach. This time he stopped for a few seconds giving her a good look, grinned broadly and winked.

My last lap...I promise. I shall return...." And with a quick wave to Lydia and also Sirius, Abba Jr. took off and disapeared around the edge of the castle whistling happily. About a half hour later he returned, this time fully dressed with a few art supplies, paint, spray and cans and brushes etc. "Mind if I join you?" He asked Sirius approaching the wall with a brush and paint, finding a good spot and added a skull & crossbones in Hufflepuff colors along the stone wall.

With his dad preoccupied and no other authority figures around Abba Jr. continued, adding ""ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK"" under his freshly painted skull. "Join in Lydia, I brought plenty of extra paint" Calling back to Lydia, if she still wasn't in shock after seeing him in his birthday suit. While she was deciding Abba Jr. found a can of red spray paint and sprayed a large heart on the wall, Lydia loves A.J. in the middle.

[Lydia Evelyn Honeywell]

"YOU HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING CREEP!" She yelled.
Her mouth was open. Literally.
"YOU THINK I WOULD WILLINGLY PARTAKE IN THAT...THAT...THAT...URGH!!!?"

She started to walk off when something caught her eye.

Lydia <3 A.J

Had everyone lost sense!? Why...WHY!?

So she did what she had been trained to do: She whipped out her holly wand at lightning speed and cleaned it straight off the wall. And then for good measure, she cleaned all of it.

She cleaned EVERY.SINGLE.MARK that was on the once-pristine wall. Scratch that, NOW pristine wall.

"Don't you two EVER do that again. EVER. I may not be the oldest here, but I have plenty of authority. And I'm not going to hesitate using it."

And she stormed off.

[Elisabetta Domenici]

After having coming up from the Slytherin dorms, Betta, who was hungry and was going to go try to snurch something from the house elves in the kitchens, suddenly spotted someone painting on the wall in red paint. She stood there for a second, then giggled, unable to help herself. As she was too hungry to care whether people got scared at the messages being put on the wall, she walked past the boy, smirking as she did.

"Oh, hold up." she said, turning to talk to the boy. "The red paint isn't red enough. Here you go." With a wave of her wand, Betta made the paint blood red, red enough to see from all the way down the corridor. "Good luck with that." she finished, laughing as she turned round again and continued on to the kitchens.