|
|
Post by Sirius James Elvendork Novus on May 7, 2011 22:57:48 GMT -5
PEOPLE WERE COMING BACK TO HOGWARTS YAY!!!!! ;D    Sirius had never been happier in his life, except for maybe the time that he found Old Yeller the snake and adopted him to be his pet, or maybe when Blake said that there were going to be bffz forever and ever and he thought he was cute, or perhaps when mummy told him that he could use his sippy cup again even though he was twelve years old... OTHER THAN THAT, HE HAD NEVER POSSESSED MORE JOY IN HIS LITTLE SUGAR-COATED HEART!!!!! Ever since the horrible plague of inactivity had been challenged to a sexytime duel, Sirius had had significantly more people to talk to and play games with and receive wedgies and slushies from.  HE WAS IN HEAVEN! Lily wasn't bugging him anymore about how lame it was to be a Gryffindor and how she had girly parts and he didn't! Mark had plenty of people to poop on now and Old Yeller had lots of ankles to bite! Life was spleeeeeendid! The only things that were missing were his human friends...   He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Blake. It was probably... crap, when did they last see each other? Sirius was wondering this as he wandered through the halls. He waddled right on up to a student who was clearly several years younger than him, grabbed his arms, and pulled him down to look in his eyes. "NOPE! You're not Blake! My friend Blake is a Hufflepuff and he's much shorter than you, you see, probably about the same height as me, and you're much taller so clearly you can't be Blake but my friend, Old Yeller, said that you looked like him so I just want to make sure, okay bye!!" ;D Then he gave the boy a kiss on the cheek because it's what his mother did to him when she made a mistake.  Out of sheer stress, Sirius began to sob desperately. WHERE OH WHERE WAS HIS BFFZ BLAKE? He didn't want anyone to think he wasn't manly (I mean, come on, he had just kissed a grown man on the cheek... he was about as masculine as they came!  ), so he ran into the nearest loo and ran into a stall. Unfortunately, the stall smelled like poop, so he started crying harder.    |
|
|
|
Post by Blake Joyner on May 8, 2011 0:08:23 GMT -5
…Today was the worst…best day of Blake’s entire life. Worst, because it was time to go back to Hogwarts meaning Blake would be surrounded by annoying, talkative, hormone-driven children all day every day. Granted Blake was only a first year and thus a child himself but that was BESIDES THE POINT. And best because he could finally stop listening to the sound of his parent’s bed hitting the wall over and over and over and over at Noon every day. Noon because his father worked from 9-5 and his mother’s boyfriend Zip couldn’t get a ride over to their house until then, he would just drive himself but due to his recent DUI his license was suspended. Honestly, Hogwarts starting back up couldn’t have come at a better time. His mother was starting to implement him into their foreplay, playing the part of her jealous midget husband. Don’t get me wrong she never would let her kid watch of course, Blake would just be told to face the wall and read the lines written for him on a piece of paper.
“How could you cheat on me Rebecca? I have given you everything you could ever want… aside from the ability to reach the top cupboard.” He always ad-libbed that last part under his breath even though he wasn’t allowed to stray from the exact lines laid out for him. Anyways, Blake was sure this traumatic experience would inevitably destroy his adulthood whether he became a gambler or a drinker or a smoker or a fatty. Whatever the case may be Blake was looking forward to his therapist meetings and his destructive relationships. But for now it was time to deal with the daunting task of passing through the corridors to his room without being spoken too. He kept his head down and took secret passageways as much as possible but wouldn’t you know just as he reached the third floor boys bathroom some nameless pion decided to ruin Blake’s day…
“HI BLAKE!” said the random student as he waved to him. What… a…jerk! Don’t yah just hate it when people acknowledge your existence? Blake simply nodded but soon became increasingly nervous as the kid started to walk towards him undoubtedly to begin the horrible agonizing pain that is “small talk”. Blake only saw one way out of this situation “Sorry gotta poop.” And with that Blake snuck into the boy’s bathroom unscathed. He let out a sigh of relief as he slipped into a stall, not really to use it but more to regain his composure and to kill time while he waited for the kid outside the bathroom to skedaddle. But as he settled in and started to read the outrageous graffiti on the stall wall he began to hear loud crying from the stall right next to his. Man this kid must be going through a terrible case of constipation. Now Blake may hate the human race but he wasn’t completely heartless people and this terrible weakness resulted in the worst mistake he has made since that one time he peaked around to look at his mother on top of Zip one day…
“Hey kid are you alright?”
|
|
|
|
Post by Sirius James Elvendork Novus on May 8, 2011 16:13:47 GMT -5
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Sirius heard the voice of an ANGEL! It sounded just like his best friend, Blakifer, but it couldn't be him. It would be too coincidental. Besides, if that was the case... Blake was... was... "BLAKE!!!!!!!!" he cried out. It was a valiant effort, but he had to stop the cry in the middle of his name because the poop smell was so rancid. He was about to BLLEEEEEEEEEEEHHHH!!!! all over the place! After wiping away the copious amount of snot that had gathered on his upper lip from all of the sobbing, Sirius plugged his nose so that he could make continuous interaction with the dead ghost of his friend, Blakifer. "BLAKE, I MISS YOU SOOOOO MUCH! How did you die?! Was it cool? How's heaven? I thought you would go to hell because overall you're such a mean person -- I mean, I like you, but the same cannot be said for lots of other people -- but I guess not because you're talking to me from up there... Are you a ghost? It would flippin' awesome to be a ghost..." Sirius decided that when he died, he wanted to be a ghost. Then he could scare people because HE WOULD BE THE SCARY ONE!! "Have you met Harry Potter? How about Dumbledore? HOW ABOUT GOD?!?!?!" Holy Hippogriff, Sirius should be a reporter. He was askin' all the hard-hittin' questions. |
|
|
|
Post by Blake Joyner on May 10, 2011 9:44:56 GMT -5
"BLAKE!!!!!!!!" There it was the voice of possibly the most annoying person on earth and Blake's supposed Bestest Friend Forever...Sirius. Blake even had a matching t-shirt that said "My Best Friend -->". Implying that they were in fact best friends and for the shirt to make any sense, that they never left each others side. Both of which could not be more wrong. For one thing Blake didn't have a best friend he just had people he despised and people he despised less. And for some reason Sirius was one of those people that Blake despised the least. He didn't know why really, perhaps it was because Blake's psychological interpretation of colors was off and so when he saw the ginger's red hair he didn't feel anger as he should but maybe he saw blue which had a calming effect. Or perhaps it was because Sirius talked so much that his voice had become some sort of soothing white noise to Blake. But if he truly had to guess he would say it was because Sirius was so honest with people. Sirius will tell you when he has to poop or cry or punch someone in the face. You always know where you stand with him and that was admirable. "Hey Sirius how've you-" But Sirius kept on going. Perhaps thats why he liked him because he never let Blake get a word in edge-wise which in his case was a redeemable quality. "BLAKE, I MISS YOU SOOOOO MUCH! How did you die?! Was it cool? How's heaven? I thought you would go to hell because overall you're such a mean person -- I mean, I like you, but the same cannot be said for lots of other people -- but I guess not because you're talking to me from up there... Are you a ghost? It would flippin' awesome to be a ghost..."Hmm Sirius thought that he had died and gone to heaven...well might as well have some fun with it. "Ohh yeah... I killed someone and then their family got all mad and killed me..." Bummer =/ " I was going to go to hell but when i was killed it was a Sunday so no one was working the gates so i just went right on through... And heavens cool...except... there are these gigantic one third rhino one third ninja one third turtle monsters and they try to eat you!!!" Hey it wasn't that rude of a trick to try and scare Sirius... I mean he was already in the bathroom so if he did soil himself there wouldn't be any mess. "And yes I met this god you speak of and he told me to ask you what you wanted for Christmas and to be a good boy." Hmm was that the wrong mythical being? I don't know Blake couldn't keep up with them all. (My characters religious view not mine, send your hate mail to him.  ) "As for Harry potter and Dumbledore?...I think they went to hell." He said and shrugged his shoulders.
|
|
|
|
Post by Fitzwilliam Wentworth on May 10, 2011 11:17:38 GMT -5
Wentworth was exploring the vastness of the castle and while strolling down the third floor corridor, he heard excited yelling coming from the bathroom. His curiosity was peaking and he decided to see what was going on.
He stepped in the nearly deserted bathroom and asked, "Is everything okay in here?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Sirius James Elvendork Novus on May 17, 2011 14:52:50 GMT -5
Blake had killed someone?!?! Sirius didn't think he was capable of such a thing! Now, he knew Blake to be somewhat of a rude boy, but that didn't mean you killed people... did it? Hm. Sirius would have to look this up when he got back to Strawberry Fields later on tonight. Because yes, he went home sometimes because staying the Hufflepuff dorms distressed him too much sometimes. HOLY CRAP!!!!! Sirius about soiled himself right there in the loo when Blake mentioned the ninja turtle rhinos. "DUDE! DID ONE OF THEM BITE YOU?! That would be so cool, you would probably get super powers and then everyone would want to be your friend which would be sooooooooooooooooooooooooo awesome because friends are so nice to have! I mean, you're my friend, and look at how happy we both are! Minus you being... dead..." At this, Sirius burst into tears again. "BLAKEEEEEEE WHO WILL I SHARE MY MARSHMALLOWS WITH? AND WHO WILL I PLAY WITH EVERYDAY?!!??!?!?!?!?!" When Blake mentioned that Dumbledore and Harry Potter must be in hell, the sobbing got even worse. Leapin' lizards, his life was getting worse and worse by the second. First, his best friend had gone missing. Then, he found out that his best friend was stinkin' DEAD. And now, Dumbledore and Harry Potter were in hell? So, when a voice asked out of nowhere if everything was okay, Sirius answered with a simple, yet very distraught, loud, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" |
|
|
|
Post by Fitzwilliam Wentworth on May 17, 2011 19:17:47 GMT -5
Wentworth walked in further and asked, "Do you need some help? Should I get a professor?" He didn't know what else to do or how exactly he could help, but he'd try.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sirius James Elvendork Novus on May 22, 2011 15:23:38 GMT -5
"NOOOOOO I'M FINE!!!" said Sirius, even though he was the complete opposite. Was this person dead, too?!?! Probably... Somehow, Sirius had developed the skill to talk to dead people... and he didn't like it one bit. |
|
|
|
Post by Fitzwilliam Wentworth on May 22, 2011 17:51:51 GMT -5
Wentworth didn't want to pry any further into their business and said, "well, I hope things work out okay then," before leaving the lavatory.
|
|
), so he ran into the nearest loo and ran into a stall. Unfortunately, the stall smelled like poop, so he started crying harder. 
) "As for Harry potter and Dumbledore?...I think they went to hell." He said and shrugged his shoulders. 
