Peer Group Counseling

[Bob]

A smoke filled room, in a dank and puddle ridden sub level of the St. Mungos', was currently host to an odd assortment of ''patients''. An inferi, a few vampires, a werewolf, several variety of pixies, disgruntled Goblins (though really when a goblin was disgruntled who could tell?) and other assorted creatures. Many of them were holding cards, they were all gathered in a circle around a cardboard box being used as a card table. They relied on an odd variety of items in place of chairs. Milkcrates, and upturned wastebasket, an overturned file cabinet (seating three) and in a few cases some of the smallest of their group being used as seat cushions.

The reason for the shabby accommodations? Simple. Since the infamous disappearance of St. Mungo's staff a few years before, treatment was at a minimum. It was reserved for life and death situations, and that left out mental health and heaven forbid you weren't entirely human. At the bottom of the bottom of the social caste, these resentful creatures gathered to share their angst and generally b***h about authority in any form.

Among nods and gestures of encouragement, Bob continued his story.
"...ok so I was kidding right? I mean, how threatening is 'braaaaaaains' I mean it's not like I had asked to eat HERS, right? I don't even like brains, I'm more of a liver or kidneys kind of guy. So the next thing you know, the ratfaced attendant - no offence Lance - " he nodded to the ratfaced boy who had an unfortunate uncurable Polyjuice potion incident - 'the next thing you know she stamps my hand, and runs out screaming...and I don't even have a work reference!'
He sighed, and looked at Lance's tail longingly. Sure it was probably stringy, but it looked fairly alive. He wondered if Lance would miss it...If he took it now he'd be doing the boy a favor, actually. A gasp disturbed his reverie, and he looked up to see Lance glaring at him threateningly while he tucked his tail under his jacket. Pity. Bob noticed a few other people glaring at him and he tried to look offended.

"WHAT?"

[Kiaro Matuchi]

If she could get in with the guys, then so be it. Afterall, this was the place for her. Criminal misfits. She took a puff of the cigar one of the vampires was holding out and she blew smoke in small little ringlets. She listened intently to this badly mangled man -- and God, he smelled like feces and fish, a rough combination -- and tossed down one of her fives onto the pile, scoffing at her bad luck; she grabbed the cigar from the vampire who had offered it before and began inhaling therapeutically.

"Some chicks dig... uhm... you. Hey you know what, maybe she had an ex boyfriend with the same condition and she didn't want to relive such experiences. Stamping your hand is basically saying she approves of you, but hey, what the hell, she gets uneasy in commitment and freaks out. That's not your fault, cheer up, man" she said reassuringly, patting him on the arm. She did not know this guy, but she could tell she already liked him.

She could easily pass as a puff ball, since she had gained weight in the past three years. She glanced at Lance, who was now inching away from the man who had just given his testimony.

"Hey at least when you eat, I'm assuming that food goes somewhere that's not to your cheeks and ass, right? Am I right?" she looked around at the crowd, scanning the eyes for any women. She found none, which surprised even her. She thought that all the creatures would have sent invites to the ladies as soon as possible. What creature is the hardest to understand, anyway? You guessed it. "See, man, I'm sure by now you realized it's okay to eat your feelings. But what about me, hm? Gaining weight was not on my top ten and here I am, in the basement of St Mungoes, playing poker."

"I'm Kiaro, by the way. Hard ass of the year." she offered her puffy hand to the man/stranger/creature.

[Fester]

"Fester think you more like fatass"

Every week Fester sit on milkcrate with friends to contemplate sad existence. Every week Fester listen to sob stories and whining. What about Fester? Master give Fester bra and tell him go be free but how can he? Fester live to serve Master and make Master happy. He cling to Master and cry and beg and Master only kick Fester out in rain and tell him go. What is free? A House Elf duty is to his master and without Master Fester has no reason to live. Abba only one who take Fester, but say he can't be Master to elf already free. Fester hate children and hate cooking in magic school all day long. Fester hate Abba...he will pay. But not now, now Fester play game and socialize like good elf.

"Fester think you know all about where food go.."

"HEHEHEHEHE.."

Fester turn to good friend Bob and shake head. "Work not problem. Fester help get work in school if Bob want.." Bob always good friend. Fester keep shank in case funny business, but Bob nice friend and understand Fester

[Bob]

Bob chuckled but turned it into a cough and turned his head to the side. His eyes watered up at the unexpected offer. Fester was so good to him, he'd never harbor secret dreams of eating him and stuffing his bones into some random waste disposal unit upstairs. Ever.
"I'd be grateful little buddy" he said simply and patted the fragile shoulder a couple of feet below his, noting the wrinkles and the paper thin skin stretched taught over the bone and wondered.....no, it probably would not be like eating a chicken wing, no matter how little meat was under the skin. He sighed and turned his attention to the woman who turned up.

He stared hungrily at the hand offered and wondered. Was the bloat the excess fluid of an unhealthy lifestyle? Did she have some undetected disease, all pus and bile and...ok, he managed to make even himself sick. Wait, she said eating...she was just fat! Bob's eyes shone as he took her had and turned it over, admiring the folds of flesh at the wrist. He kissed her hand, hoping it appeared gallant but he was really gauging how much fatty flesh was wrapped around each knuckle. Knuckles were good stewed with greens and a light garlicky oily broth. He ignored the cracks about ex-boyfriends and whatever. This was clearly someone who was ignorant about the class discrimination rampant in the wizarding world and the ministry. Instead he caught her name and tried to smile in what he hoped was a charming manner at her introduction.

"I don't see a hard edge anywhere on you...only curves and womanly fleeeeeeesh" God he was so hungry...he hadn't eaten in days.

[Kiaro Matuchi]

She wanted to kick that damn house elf. Right in the face. They were nasty little creatures anyway. They deserved to be the slaves that they were made to be. Instead, being in the presence of such sensitive beings, she decided not to say anything to Fester. Afterall, she did know the power of a house elf. A flick of the hand and she could be thrown into the concrete and dead in a minute's notice. She took a deep breath and smiled with clenched teeth.

"It's nice to meet you, Fester" she said with a dismissive nod before turning back to Bob, who was admiring her. But Kiaro noticed that glisten in his eye. Her hand touched her pocket where her wand was located. It poked her reassuringly in the thigh.

Damn she thought as Bob took her right hand. Her wand was in her right pocket and she only had her left hand available. She wouldn't be able to get the right leverage to attack him if things got heated. Ah well, if she died, at least she died in.. interesting company.

"Like what you see, huh? What exact condition do you have, anyway, dearest Bob?" she was going to guess what could possibly be plaguing him, but she didn't want him to get offended and do her in. That would be the worst possible scenario. Instead, her hand remained in his and she hoped, she prayed he wouldn't lose all self control and take it off.